I detest the statement “time heals all wounds.” It’s not valid. Time heals nothing. Time by itself is just time. What matters is what you do with it. Let me rephrase that: Time only heals physical wounds not emotional ones. At least not this wound I've had for years now. People have told me in the past "Oh don't worry Che, you will soon come to grips that all things happen for a reason; the death of your parents
willhasmakemade you stronger; a better person. Time heals all wounds”. The problem when people burst out clichés like "Time heals" to someone who's hurting "de-legitimizes" what he or she is feeling now. This is hard to take when you are already undergoing emptiness and lost. You might as well kick someone while they're down. With that said, no one in their right mind should say that to a ten, fourteen year old. EVER! Oh believe me, I’m 27 and the pain is still there and will always be. It's just not as strong. That's why I think time does not heal emotional wounds. We just get use to the pain, use to the feeling. In fact, the distance time (builds) creates is often an illusion, and can even deepen a wound instead of healing it.
Shine your light on me
Time has not healed my heart. It has not erased the pain from my body, mind and soul. I need (needed) something great to reawaken my life. Maybe its achieving the list of goals; the one's my parents once expected me to accomplish, finding that "true love" who is somewhere out there, finding that passion in life everyone keeps talking about, climbing Mount Everest, scuba diving in the deepest sea; whatever it is, that something has not occurred. It has yet to "heal my wound".
We all have a collection of scars, both physical and emotional. Scars are a part of us. All our lives we collect bumps, bruises, and breaks. Sometimes we heal from the physical hurts completely, with no outward traces. Sometimes there's disfigurement; a blemish, a limp, or a missing appendage. Sometimes there’s loss of mobility. Some don't even get over a past relationship, a death of a loved one, the loss of a home, ect. Usually it's a specific something where we can point to it and say "it hurts right here”.
When pain is covered-up, it is hidden only for a time. When it arises to the surface of one’s life, and it will come to the surface, it often erupts in a harmful behavior that could have been prevented if the person had been able to grieve sufficiently the offense, loss, or devastation, brush aside traumas and hurts in their lives. They have a certain resiliency. Others seem to stay stuck in their pain, living as if the painful events of their lives had occurred just moments ago. Don't get me wrong, just because it still hurts doesn't mean I will stay bitter, angry or sad for years. I’ve made a promise to myself that those wounds will not dictate my life. I’ve decided to move on and fill in that space; that its place is in the past, much like a chapter in a book you have read and choose not to read again.
At times, we experience wounding to our mind, heart, and soul; it feels as if we have been torn open. Sometimes we are bleeding, metaphorically, from every wound of our bodies. Eventually the bleeding stops and the cut closes, but did it closed inside? Have we healed or just locked up with our disbelief, fear, bitterness, and anger inside?
The main point here, though, is that time does not heal all wounds. A more suitable saying is “IT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH THE TIME THAT HEALS.” Like any other facet of life, "grieving is an active, working process, not a passive one."
