"There are some things that time can not mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold". -Frodo, The Return of the King

 I detest the statement “time heals all wounds.” It’s not valid. Time heals nothing. Time by itself is just time. What matters is what you do with it. Let me rephrase that: Time only heals physical wounds not emotional ones.  At least not this wound I've had for years now. People have told me in the past "Oh don't worry Che, you will soon come to grips that all things happen for a reason; the death of your parents will has make made you stronger; a better person. Time heals all wounds”. The problem when people burst out clichés like "Time heals" to someone who's hurting "de-legitimizes" what he or she is feeling now. This is hard to take when you are already undergoing emptiness and lost. You might as well kick someone while they're down. With that said, no one in their right mind should say that to a ten, fourteen year old. EVER!  Oh believe me, I’m 27 and the pain is still there and will always be. It's just not as strong. That's why I think time does not heal emotional wounds. We just get use to the pain, use to the feeling. In fact, the distance time (builds) creates is often an illusion, and can even deepen a wound instead of healing it.

Shine your light on me

 

Time has not healed my heart. It has not erased the pain from my body, mind and soul. I need (needed) something great to reawaken my life.  Maybe its achieving the list of goals; the one's my parents once expected me to accomplish, finding that "true love" who is somewhere out there, finding that passion in life everyone keeps talking about, climbing Mount Everest, scuba diving in the deepest sea;  whatever it is, that something has not occurred. It has yet to "heal my wound".

We all have a collection of scars, both physical and emotional. Scars are a part of us. All our lives we collect bumps, bruises, and breaks. Sometimes we heal from the physical hurts completely, with no outward traces. Sometimes there's disfigurement; a blemish, a limp, or a missing appendage. Sometimes there’s loss of mobility. Some don't even get over a past relationship, a death of a loved one, the loss of a home, ect.  Usually it's a specific something where we can point to it and say "it hurts right here”.

When pain is covered-up, it is hidden only for a time. When it arises to the surface of one’s life, and it will come to the surface, it often erupts in a harmful behavior that could have been prevented if the person had been able to grieve sufficiently the offense, loss, or devastation, brush aside traumas and hurts in their lives. They have a certain resiliency. Others seem to stay stuck in their pain, living as if the painful events of their lives had occurred just moments ago. Don't get me wrong, just because it still hurts doesn't mean I will stay bitter, angry or sad for years. I’ve made a promise to myself that those wounds will not dictate my life. I’ve decided to move on and fill in that space; that its place is in the past, much like a chapter in a book you have read and choose not to read again.

At times, we experience wounding to our mind, heart, and soul; it feels as if we have been torn open. Sometimes we are bleeding, metaphorically, from every wound of our bodies. Eventually the bleeding stops and the cut closes, but did it closed inside? Have we healed or just locked up with our disbelief, fear, bitterness, and anger inside?

The main point here, though, is that time does not heal all wounds. A more suitable saying is “IT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH THE TIME THAT HEALS.” Like any other facet of life, "grieving is an active, working process, not a passive one." 

 

You make your choices out of impulse, which is why you continue to repeat your mistakes; why can't you learn from them? Isn't my opinion reasonable enough?

I'm always finding you caught in some sort of trouble; stuck in the middle of a spider web - which I find myself continuously getting you out of. I tend to let you have your way, even though, at the end of the day, I’ll feel stupid and betrayed.

Wishing, dreaming; what a fool. You blindly take the first step without noticing the whole staircase in front of you.

I let you wander way too far; you come back with deep scars. I refuse to let my sanity tag along; have you questioning our companionship, the affiliation, the respect and honor.

You are so naive. You go with how you feel, you trust in anyone and then I am left to fix the pieces. Stop the nonsense, listen to me for once. Let me guide you, shield you from any wrong. Hear me out! Wait for my cue! Stop being so stubborn, thinking your perception towards it will end with a good outcome. You got to fight just to make it through because I will not be here always trying to help and fix you. Just go ahead. Eventually you'll jump into the deepest sea, even though you cannot swim.

You fail to notice, you fail to see, I cannot live without you; you are beating inside me.  My worst enemy is you; foolish heart, you are killing me.

The blissful leafy, vibrant autumnal fire of October has passed, and December’s glistening lights and glassy snow have yet to appear. For now, there’s not much to see but bare trees, dead leaves and sometimes gloomy grey skies. I appreciate November’s delicate charms. The colors of the scenery is softer now. Hues of taupe and amber frost over the landscape. The sky displays a little less turquoise and a little more slate.  November is silent. Humble, even.  Compressed between October and December - its gifts to us are subtle.  November is all about finding value and beauty in nature, even when she is not particularly showing off those flashy lights like October and December. November is all about taking breaks; pause and breathe. The whirlwind of pumpkin festivals, harvest fairs, back- to -school and Halloween are done.  The madness of the gift shopping, potluck planning, new year toasting is yet to come, so lets think about what's here and now. Just plain sweet November. The late night hot chocolate making, warm, fuzzy sweater/socks wearing, cuddle under the blankets, beautiful, calm, peaceful November. Sometime this month, simply pause for a moment and let the gentle energy, the spark of this time of year shower over you. Feel the ease in the air. Try to resist the headlong rush into Decembers demand. Let November be November. Take a look outside. Open yourself and reconnect with the rhythms of nature's cycle.  Blissfully indulge in Autumnal beauty.

Many of us have lost someone, either by death or abandonment, it is often equally painful when we loved them, leaving us out of their life which we may have once been a great part of.  When someone leaves us, our instinct may be to wish we had never known them at all. Maybe they do not even leave us, as in physically abandoning us by distance, but by turning their back on us, or by betrayal. We certainly do not own one another though, we are all individual, humans, and not objects available for ownership by other human beings. We most often choose to make social acquaintance, be near, and love another.

In life people will always come and go. This does not mean we should abstain to love and care for any one else, even though they may leave us still. If you have someone who loves, cares for you, or many at that, you are truly blessed. Cherish, grasp the time you have with those you love and who are in your life now, for they may not always be there.

For those who have left me, family, friends; they've given me invaluable gifts: inspiration, memories, laughter, knowledge, and love. They left me with a piece of them, and I hope, I left them with a part of me, as well, so that, even if they are gone, we are connected still, touching from afar.

Has anyone ever left you? Have you ever had a close friend betray you or turn their back on? If you've ever been betrayed, were/are you bitter, did/do you seek revenge for the way they hurt you? Have you ever been the one to leave someone else? How do you justify leaving someone else, do you think in certain situations, it's OK?

If heaven was ghetto, would you be afraid to go?  If knowledge was evil,  wouldn't you still want to know?  If  your roots where the seed to  all of your questions, wouldn't you believe that you need to learn a lesson?  So don't let fear be the force that keeps you far from having a great life. Let love be the driving  force that brings you near. That's one of the reasons why we are here.

Here is a list of 26 lessons I have learned so far at the age of 26.  Sometimes contemplating about your life and thinking through on what you have acknowledge is just as valuable as taking a new adventure.

1. The education doesn't make the man....the man makes the education.
2. No matter what the outcome is, it always ends up just the way it should be.
3. Being an adult can be fun when you're a kid at heart.
4. Physical attraction is nice, but when you share values and sense of humor, these are the real keys to lasting love.
5. Unfortunately, bad things do happen to good people.
6. Passion for life doesn't wear off....it fades from lack of use.
7. Women should own power tools. The feeling you receive while holding that big drill is priceless AND most men dig it.
8. Time does not heal wounds.  Sometimes,  wounds are still there; you just get use to the pain.
9. Most of the time what you are looking for is right in front of you. [believe me, I know ]
10. Patience is not so much a virtue as it is a reward that comes to those in balance .
11. Complaining is like slamming your head against the wall.  It doesn’t solve the problem, it just hurts you more.
12. Nice guys (girls) don't always finish last.
13. People deserve a second chance, but not a third.
14. You should play on a swing set or seesaw at least once every year. It is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
15. If people say you're picky it's because they settled for less somewhere in their life.
16. If you are honest with yourself and you do things for the right reasons, you will embark on a better, higher path headed toward one of your major life goals.
17. Take risks. You'll be surprise of the outcome.
18. If you play your cards right by staying aware and focused, you could make a dream come true.
19. You have more potential than you give yourself credit for.
    
20. Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing if off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one or live with one.
21. You don’t need anybody’s support to make things happen.
22. Successful people read books.
23. Anyone who judges you by the type  of car you drive or shoes you wear isn’t someone worth impressing.
24. It is okay to be angry.  Just don't be cruel.
25. If you can look toward the horizon and envision what you hope for, you will realize that any setbacks now are not important.
26. Those who really care will still care whether they agree with you or not.
27. Don’t think of cost. Think of value.

I don’t want to endure a com­fort­able life num­bered by air-conditioned solace, uncar­ing efforts at work, a life ful­filled with diluted feel­ings, unmeant appear­ances of faith­ful­ness  and ani­mos­ity. I refuse to live that life of squalor. Life has to occur. I want to hear the rum­ble of thun­der, see the dark sky momen­tar­ily lit up by light­ing. I was to see the bright­en­ing light of the burn­ing sum­mer sun, the pur­plish blue of the autumn sky, the red glow of the reap­ing moon and warm­ing golden sun­shine of the win­ter. The sepia of old black and white pho­tos, the rush of col­ors in a pitch black movie the­atre, the bright yellow­ing of the evening. I want to feel the shiv­er­ing lips of anticipation as I kiss. I want to love unconditionally without fear of the "what if?". I want to feel the achy pains as you push your­self to run another lap, to do another rep­e­ti­tion of a dead lift. The pain you feel when you're disappointed or heart broken. I want to  beat dead­lines, cre­ate great ideas.

Pain and relief, anguish and ecstasy, despair and eupho­ria, bit­ter­ness and ten­der­ness; all of it I want to feel.  I want to live life as it hap­pens momen­tar­ily. I want to expe­ri­ence the pain and joy com­min­gling.  I want to expe­ri­ence it all; an authen­tic, pure, and undi­luted life. Even though all this sounds masochist or insane, I just think it's time for me to live my life  ....undiluted.

It is a very exciting to be so drawn into technology and the new media. Twitter keeps on trying to invade the internet world by storm as it collects your current updates and data from the major social media players. Are you connected? All these sites, like Mashable, keeps you updated on what is going on out there in the media world, Twitter, Google, Facebook, Myspace, Blogger and so on. "Mashable tweeted some very interesting news yesterday", "Google Launches Real-Time Search!" Can anyone really afford to not know about Twitter anymore? It amazes me that there are those that still withstand.

Frequently, Social Media sites broadcast innovating improvements, faster downloads, sharper images, advanced functionality. I contend again: there is no way in hell a social/new media expert out there. How could there imaginably be? I can not conceive of that. There are only those that are comfortable enough to be ok with trying to keep up with it or those that actually get it and take the initiative to get more involved. Just when you mastered the “latest” version, another one launches. Just when you think you have the latest, coolest, bad ass gadget, BANG! Another one is released. Just when we think we have it all figured out, like Windows Vista……..HERE’S WINDOWS 7

I love the changes. I like discovering them through Twitter or my Facebook news feed. I take pleasure in knowing that we have to keep learning. To me it's like an orgasm; I crave it all the time. I enjoy making my brain bigger; it's fuel to my cerebrum. I can't help it, I'm a techy. Also, I am pleased that we cannot possibly keep up with this super sonic speed. It's just fun! Adaptation takes longer for some; most brains just need a bit more time which with gaining a little of patience will help you in that department. While your brain is playing catch up, log on to your sources from Facebook, Twitter, Mashable or Plaxo. The game might be changing, but the song remains the same. You just got to be ready for it.

So take a chance- Reach out. Reach out and touch someone.

Watch the magnetic pendulums sway from side to side. We are running out of time, are we? Witness it count down to the end of each day. It’s so unreal how the clock ticks life away. Every movement, every blink, every smile, every tear, every unspoken words we wanted to declare, every dreams that we are waiting and willing to share. Just take a chance, leap with no fear. Holding back won't get you anywhere. Tik-Tok, Tik-Tok, we continue to clock watch. Wasting every second, every minute, every hour; Just say it, go ahead and do, don't hold back. You'll end up having something to lose or something to gain; like minutes not going to waste. Tik-Tok, Tik-Tok, no more of this clock watching. Go ahead, just live in this moment just this time, get ready to let your life unwind.